Where success coaching goes hella wrong
Today's Museletter - 3-minute read
Hey love,
The Museletter today is jam-packed with some epic realisations as to why you’re not getting what you want. It’s a bumper issue. You might want to print this out. Do we still do that?!
Ok, I spoke to some wonderful women last week for the burnout brainstorm sessions and yup, the same issues kept cropping up.
Psst, there are three more spots if you want to book a session with me, gratis
Burnout Brainstorm Session, book yours now!
I work with incredibly capable women and for some reason, they’re not unlocking their potential, living from a place of delicious desire and pleasure or even having enough in their cup at the end of the day for themselves.
Here’s one of the conversations that came up last week.
(Shared with permission, of course.)
- Your Surface Stuckness = Not moving forward in life. Pushing harder, wanting to go faster, can’t decide what to do next. Good old procrastination.
- Underlying Issue = Allowing other influences into their life through social media, taking more courses, following others instead of modelling others. Shiny object syndrome.
Here’s the divide between success coaching and real coaching.
- Real Stuckness = Paralysis from perfectionism. Having to “get it right” for it to work.
- The Opposite of Real Stuckness = Self Leadership and owning your journey instead of following others for safety. (A BIG one for women)
- Root Cause = Not being approved of unless we’re perfect. A past relic from our childhood. The mother wound, oh YEY!
- Fix = Nervous system regulation to create safety in your body to know you are OK no matter what happens. Working from the body up to the head instead of the other way round.
Here’s the thing.
Men’s/masculine style coaching is VERY different to women’s/feminine style coaching.
Generally (all coaching is individual to the person being coached)... it goes like this.
- Men (the masculine expression of energy) want power and status. Men’s style coaching says “You’re not trying hard enough, do it more, push through”.
- Women (the feminine expression of energy) want safety. Women’s coaching says “Find safety, build a foundation, and fill your cup first”.
Can you feel the difference?!
We can move between our masculine and feminine energy but generally, women want safety which is built from a solid foundation.
And it’s why we get paralysed and stuck. Or we go into our masculine and push harder leading to burnout. We stop trying and recover. Only to start the cycle again.
There are multiple levels this issue can be solved.
- More rest → Filling your cup with beautiful and exciting energy before you go out into the world without feeling guilty or pressured. Giving from the overflow, not from your cup. Create a baseline of safety first.
- Remind yourself of YOUR goals - OMG, this is a huge one. Remind yourself of YOUR journey and no one else’s. There’s a massive power in creating your own way from your true self and having the self-trust to execute your plans.
- Less of other people’s BS → Yup, get off the socials and do your thing before you go on there. Get around other women you can model that have great energy, habits, boundaries and standards.
Lemme make it simple for you...
ENERGY + BELIEFS + BOUNDARIES
Those three things are the essence of getting everything in your life.
→ A delicious partner that is fun, devoted, exciting and safe. And the s*x... Oh Em GEE!! faints
→ A healthy bank account that overflows at the end of the month, investments working hard for you, a savings fund that’s tipping from business class to first class for your next adventure.
→ Overflowing abundance in all parts of your life. Full creative expression and authenticity. Living from your true self and having the energy to create anything you desire (just cos you want to).
*MEN + MONEY + MANIFESTATION
*Obvs substitute this for partner but I like alliteration (once a copywriter, always a copywriter)
If this is something you're absolutely wanting to heal and get unstuck from then stay tuned...
With Power & Grace,
Carolynne xx