The Complete F*ckary of Brexit, Rona and Residency
Hey love,
As promised, here's a very familiar story of how stress, burnout and absolute f*ckary nearly trashed my relationship.
See if you can spot yourself in this story too.
The Complete F*ckary of Brexit, Rona and Residency
The Cliff Notes on how I nearly trashed my 19-year relationship.
Late last year, I ended my love affair with Spain. Specifically, Málaga.
I’d lived there for nearly four years, had an apartment and built my life there.
2019 - Was a surefire 10/10 and I was having a ball!! Everything was peachy. Optimistic, excited and expanding my life.
2020 - Not so great with Rona and Brexit. Things started to go a little sideways.
2021 - I thought that I could make things work by trying harder and putting on a brave face (ha!)
2022 - I was DONE.
Emotionally devastated, business on the rocks, relationship fraying at the edges… Burned out AF!
See if you can see yourself in this.
I was living alone in a foreign country with basic Spanish trying to navigate the legal system.
→ Ever felt the utter frustration of wanting something and you just can't reach it no matter how hard you're trying? Or maybe avoiding the whole thing?
(psst, I did both!)
I had no idea if and when I was going to be deported at any second. The police over in Spain are strict AF. They have 🔫 = terrifying!
→ Have you felt anxious about silly things that you used to be okay with? "Normal" things were making you freak out.
I was spending thousands of pounds on getting a Residency which was sapping my bank account. Not ideal.
→ Money problems are like a vortex sucking you down and you're hustling harder to make it work. Or you're subconsciously pushing away more responsibility cos you're burning out.
I was losing my support system cos folks were moving back home. Lots of alone time makes Carolynne freak out!!
→ And you're isolating yourself cos you just don't want to "share the bad times". Or maybe you've not focused on your support network lately.
And on top of that, I hadn't seen my man for 5 months 😭 152 days to be exact.
→ Work is taking you further and further away from your partner. You feel like you have to choose instead of having it all.
Just like you, I forged on until I couldn't.
The day after my birthday, I cried in the airport from sadness and relief.
I thought the nightmare was over but as you know, stress and burnout follow you everywhere.
I remember sitting there on Christmas morning after another BS argument with my man.
Why was this happening? I'd made peace with moving home so why was I so triggered?!
I was stressed out from the smallest things, I was biting back at the tiniest conversations, and I had no energy to have a date night.
The same repeating patterns over and over again.
I’d (almost) hit rock bottom with my life and my relationship.
They say that relationships are a mirror to show you where you aren’t free… and WOW, I was feeling that.
HERE'S THE ROOT CAUSE
My poor fiancé got the brunt of me being on a hairline trigger from stress, burnout and trauma.
I had to admit I needed to heal from my experience.
I deeply love the man I choose to walk beside me every day. And that’s when I knew I had to do the work. For both of us.
Then the deep healing work began.
P.S. Tomorrow, I’m going to share what I discovered to heal my chaos. I won't leave you hanging.
You don’t want to miss this.